“Prayer is the place where I’m invited to present the parts of myself that no one else sees to a God who already knows and loves me anyway.” The Prayer Coin - Elisa Morgan
When I read those words, I knew it right away—sometimes I
haven’t been fully honest with God.
Absurd, right?
I mean He knows my every thought. I know that.
Yet, still there have been times, more than I’m proud to
admit, where I’ve held back.
And I always had a reason why.
Yet, now that I think about it, it’s been more like excuses
than valid reasons.
Maybe you can relate.
Just so that we’re on the same page, when I speak of being
honest with God, I’m referring to the Garden-of-Eden variety—naked, exposed
truth-telling. The kind of honesty that lays you bare . . . no holds barred . .
. everything out in the open. Did I mention e-x-p-o-s-e-d?
Are you comfortable being honest with God like that?
Why or why not?
Here are my main why-nots—reasons I haven’t always been
honest with God:
It’s scary.
I’m afraid God will be disappointed in me. As a Christian, I
know He’s no longer angry at me—God’s sin-directed wrath was absorbed by Christ
at the cross. But sometimes, I can’t shake the feeling that He might be
disappointed, and somehow that feels even worse.
And what if he doesn’t understand? Isn’t that one of our
greatest fears? Ending up rejected and alone . . . abandoned and misunderstood
because what we shared was just too ugly.
But scariest of all is this—what if I share exactly how I
feel, and He doesn’t care? Or He asks me to do something I don’t want to do?
Yep, many times I didn’t like taking that risk.
But these what-if fears weren’t the only reasons, I often
shied away from being naked before God because . . . it can also be draining .
. . painfully so.
I don’t always have the energy for this ultra-level honesty.
Sometimes, it feels like surface level honesty is all I can muster up. Digging
deep into heart issues is tough work. It requires facing some thoughts and
feelings that surprise even me. At the end of a long day or in the middle of a
life-storm I’m often too tired or, if we’re being truthful, too lazy to do the
work of being honest . . . so, often I choose easy.
And easy looks like this—I’m supposed to pray ‘Your will be
done’ and so I do and miss the heart-to-heart God is inviting me to. Am I the
only one guilty of praying the ‘right’ words but not the real ones?
‘We can easily default to what I call an “auto-abandon.” As if we’re supposed to surrender, so we do. Auto-abandon isn’t really abandon. It’s something more like resignation.’ The Prayer Coin- Elisa Morgan
There you have it—confessions of a lazy, scared Christian.
A Christian who had for too long missed out on what God was
offering her.
But God never leaves us where He finds us, and over time, He
has mercifully offered me a balm for every sore exposed in my prayer life. It’s
part of His promise to finish the work He has started in me, and I’m so
thankful for His overflowing compassion, His never-running-out patience, and His
above-all wisdom.
With His out-of-the-box creativity and personal touch, God continually
finds a myriad of ways to beckon me closer . . . calling me to come just as I
am.
“The prayer preceding all prayers is, ‘May it be the real I who speaks. May it be the real Thou that I speak to.’” C.S. Lewis via The Prayer Coin - Elisa Morgan
The Prayer Coin: Daring to Pray with Honest Abandon by Elisa Morgan is one of the ways God recently
got my attention. Just when I was delving into the Gospels, intrigued by what
Jesus might be praying all those times He went off on His own to pray, I ‘stumbled
upon’ this close-up examination of Jesus’s anguished prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane. (Thank you, Alyson.)
And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, "My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will." Matthew 26:39
In the book, Elisa exposes the prayer’s dual sides of honest (take this cup) and
abandon (not my will, but yours) and outlines how I can also follow Jesus’ example.
Reading through the book reminded me of those times when I’ve
poured it all out and highlighted the many times I have not. I yearned for what
I knew was possible.
So, I did what any God-fearing woman would do—I prayed, ‘Help
me, Lord. Help me to come to you.’
Then I pushed through the fear and fatigue because I knew
God wanted more for me. And the more I prayed honest . . . the more I got to taste
the intimacy he’s invited me to share.
And usually what I think might be harrowing is often healing.
Elisa reminds me:
'Honest opens us to help. And help that wholly heals comes from God alone.’
My fears dissipate, and I feel rested in His love.
‘I had feared that if I dared go honest, I’d be cosmically zapped, that I’d be forever misunderstood—even rejected. I wasn’t. Instead, I was scooped up and held in a safe embrace. Then I assumed I’d be sizzled into abandon—forced to utterly give up my honest desires. In reality, I yielded tender toward God and what I knew he ultimately wanted for me. Instead of being lost in abandon, I was found. Really, the one thing I’ve given up in this journey is the very fear I was running from.’ The Prayer Coin - Elisa Morgan
Amen, Elisa. I wholeheartedly agree. Thanks for being used
by God to draw me, once again, into His embrace.
So, my friend, you don’t have to miss out, learn from my
mistake.
God says come . . . come scared, come weary, just come . . . pour out
your heart to Him. Really pray. Face your fears. Do the work. Embrace the gift
. . . embrace what God is offering you—a closer, more intimate walk with Him .
. . ‘all because of Jesus, and all in His name.
Grace and peace to you,
Carlie
Grace and peace to you,
Carlie
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What About You?
What's stopping you from presenting the real you to the real God?
When last have you dared to pray honest--questions, doubts, laments and all?
You can pick up your own copy of 'The Prayer Coin' here.
You're welcome, in advance. :)
