Tuesday 11 October 2016

Are You Really Fine Just The Way You Are?


'But sometimes, you can rest and know that you are fine just the way you are; you don't always have to try to be better.'

I came to a standstill and pondered her words carefully. I had this eerie feeling that I had stumbled upon a treasure... a nugget of great truth. I needed to linger here for a moment. I genuinely wanted to understand her and to take the time needed to sift though the dusty layers to unearth this pearl of wisdom.

I had simply said to her that there is always room for improvement. 

We had been in the middle of a math lesson and she had been dawdling a bit more than I liked, and so I had started in, yet again, reminding her that she can do better. It was a familiar tirade. One that I had repeated more times than I care to remember. Not only to her... but also to myself. We can always do better. 

But my performance-focused reprimand was interrupted - shattered by the unexpected, yet much needed soul-refreshing wisdom of a child. 

'You can rest and know that you are fine just the way you are.'

She had not intended it to be spiritual. But it was.

My daughter's words meandered through my mind and travelled down to the soft, squishy, most vulnerable part of me. The stirrings of my heart were almost tangible as I muttered the words, "Thank you, sweetheart. Thank you for your wisdom and for reminding me of a great truth."

I smiled at her bewildered face, turned, walked up the stairs and without delay ordered the next book on my wish-list - 'Breaking up with Perfect' by Amy Carroll. 

You see, there was a message in here for me, buried deep underneath the layers of an innocent remark, and I was determined to dig it out, to let it soak into my mind and my spirit, and to let it work its liberating magic.

And there were many layers. I would spend the next several days digging... exploring all the nuances of this loaded statement. 

'You are fine just the way you are.' 

I knew I was right. You should always strive to do your best. But deep down I knew she was more right than me. My 11 year old daughter had unintentionally reminded me of the elusive harmony so many of us Christians search for. The need to cease from our labors and enter into the rest only Christ can give, while striving to work out our salvation with fear and trembling

After taking a few days to wander down the various roads this simple comment led me on, I returned to the conversation with my daughter. I wanted to gently scrape away the layers to understand what she was really thinking when she said those words. 

She thinks deeply and is quite apt at expressing her feelings, so I knew she was ready. We talked about how my love for her is not dependent on what she does but on who she is. She assured me that she was confident of this. (What a relief!) 

Then we switched to the spiritual side of things and talked about law and grace and about how we are made complete in Christ... about how we are not saved by our good works but for good works. 

And then, to prod just a bit more, (speaking in general terms) I asked, "You're fine just the way you are, but shouldn't you always try to do better?"

Her quick reply: "Shouldn't you always think you're good enough?"

We were talking about two different things. Doing and being. The slippery balance that plagues so many Christians. 

She went on, "No one is perfect. No one expects you to be perfect. If perfection is unattainable then why do people still try to attain it. Yes, you should do better, but up to a limit, because 'doing better' becomes a burden. Like you have to do it, rather than you want to do it." 

Now, I got it... the gem of truth God had hidden in there for me.

So many of us know the truth. 
'For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.' Ephesians 2: 8-9
Yet, we refuse to enter into that rest. We don't articulate it, but the evidence is in our actions. We labor day-in and day-out, always striving to do more, to be more, until 'doing better' becomes a burden and robs us of the peace and rest promised to us through Christ - the only one who completed the work that we could never complete. When Christ offered for all time one sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God

He is now offering us that rest.  
'There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his.' Hebrews 4:9-10 
So why are we still striving so hard? Rejecting His rest? Beating ourselves up for not doing enough... or being enough? Refusing to believe that what Christ did for us on the cross was indeed enough? 



It's time to stop, my friend, and let the truth soak in and transform your life. 
'Depend on God and keep at it because in the Lord God you have a sure thing.' Isaiah 26: 4 (MSG)
In other words, my friend, do the best you can, then leave the rest to God. 

It all comes down to trust. What are you trusting to make you fine just the way you are? Are you trusting in Jesus's cleansing blood? Or are you trusting in your endless labour and self-effort? Or a little bit of both? 
'God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.' 2 Corinthians 5:21
In the words of Reverend Billy Graham,
'I want to tell people about the meaning of the cross. Not the cross that hangs on the wall or around someone’s neck, but the real cross of Christ…With all my heart I want to leave you with the truth, that he loves you, and is willing to forgive you of all your sins.'
Yes, when you receive God's forgiveness offered to us through Christ, then those words that every person yearns to hear can be true of you. 

'You really are fine just the way you are' - because now you are in Christ. 

You can cease from your labors and enter, with all who believe, into the sweet rest Christ has offered us. You can be confident that he loves you not for what you do but for who you are. 

So, rest well today, my friend, and may this song remind you of the power of the cross to make you not just fine, but flawless. 



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Also, sharing this post today at the #FreshMarketFriday linkup over at crystaltwaddell.com, such a beautifully inspiring place to visit.  

24 comments:

  1. Wow, wise daughter indeed. Thank you for such a beautiful reminder. Sometimes it takes a bit of time to remember that we need to let go of the perfect and you are the best that you can be. So glad you were able to share this on #shinebloghop today. Happy you were able to join us :)

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    1. Thanks, Maria! Seems like I need reminding over and over again, and this time God used my sweet little girl to do it. Maybe it'll stick this time. (smile) Always a pleasure visiting #shinebloghop. Blessings to you, my friend!

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  2. Carlie, I was so blessed by this post....your daughter's insight and your well written words. Thanks so much for this rich sharing and reflecting the truth for us! Blessings on your gifts!

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    1. So glad you were blessed, Pam! Thanks for visiting. It was such a pleasure linking up with you this week.

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  3. I think there is great power in being happy with where you are and at the same time working toward where you want to be.
    #SHINEbloghop

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    1. There's much truth in that, Jenny. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I think we should always depend on God to do our best, to keep at it, while at the same time resting in His perfection not our own.

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  4. I've been reading much lately about resting in Christ, and just being with Him, not trying to do. Thank you so much for this reminder. And your daughter sounds a lot like my 12 year old daughter. She will often tell me, a recovering perfectionist, that I don't have to be perfect. She is a breath of fresh air for me often. :)

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    1. Isn't it wonderful how God uses our little ones to remind us of His timeless truths? Yes, I'd been reflecting a lot on resting in Christ when my daughter and I had that conversation, and I think it was just God's way of bringing the message home to me. Thanks so much for visiting, Samantha.

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  5. It is so incredible the ways God reveals things to us to help us grow. Sounds like you have a smart daughter there! Thank you for sharing your poignant thoughts here today. These are truths we definitely need to remember. I hope you have a wonderful weekend and may God richly bless you and yours!

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    1. Oh, thank you, Horace. It is so nice of you to visit. Yes, I am always amazed at the subtle ways God reveals His truths to me, and feel especially blessed to have such a thought-full daughter. Grace and peace to you, my friend.

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  6. What a wonderful word you've shared here. Sometimes I "forget" these truths -- It's nice to be reminded of God's promises to and for us.

    Blessings.
    xoxo

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    1. Thanks, Jennifer. It's so easy to 'forget' living in a world where our 'performance' is so highly rated, but bit by bit I'm learning to rely on God's perfection and not my own. Blessings to you, my friend.

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  7. So profound, Carlie. It is a delicate balance. I'm challenged by your post to rest in Him today as I work to be the person He has called me to be.

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    1. Thanks, Shannon. Nice to have you visit. It is challenging, isn't it? He offers us rest, and we find it hard to accept it. May we find sweet rest in Him today. Blessings to you.

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  8. Carlie, thank you for these thoughts that shed light on that space somewhere between complacency and the ceaseless striving that extinguishes grace. May God give us wisdom to keep our hearts in that space.

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    1. Oh, I love how you expressed that, Michelle. Yes, I want to stay in that space. It is a space filled with His peace. Grace and peace to you, my friend.

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  9. It's such a delicate balance we need to strike and to think this profound truth came from one so young. She's really quite a treasure to be able to grasp what so many of us struggle to accept. This one is so deep, Carlie, I think I need to ponder it a little bit more. :-)
    Hugs and blessings!

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    1. Yes, Marv, she really is a treasure, and that truth is one that I am having to ponder very deeply indeed. You're right, it is such a struggle to accept, we fight against it, but all the while, God is saying - rest in me. Thanks for your continual support, my sister. (smile)

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  10. Carlie, This is so so SO good! What a wise little one you have! "Because we have to instead of because we want to"... Wow. Yup. What a fine balance that we battle. I think I tend to push myself out of the "want to" and into the "have to" mentality way too often! Thank you for these thoughts to ponder, my friend! And thank you for sharing the hope we have in Christ at #MomentsofHope!
    Blessings and smiles,
    Lori

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    1. Thanks so much, Lori! It's always such a pleasure to visit #MomentsofHope! Yes, it is a very difficult balance for me, but I'm learning more and more to lean into God and accept His rest. So grateful that He uses my ordinary to teach me His extraordinary truths. Blessings to you, my friend!

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  11. Carly, wow!! I loved this today and am so glad I am your neighbor at Fresh Market Friday! I am saving this to reread because it has so many riches to glean. This speaks to me radically because I am a recovering perfectionist and so goal-oriented. So hard to cease life habits or personality tendencies but God has been freeing me in this area little by little. Great post Carly!

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    1. Thanks so much, Gretchen! I have had to ponder it deeply as well. God is doing a radical work in my life freeing me from the burden of ceaseless striving. Blessings to you as we journey to freedom together.

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  12. Hi Carlie! I wanted to drop by to let you know I loved this post so much, I am featuring it on this week's #MomentsofHope! Thanks for whispering the hope of Jesus into my heart this week!
    Blessings and smiles,
    Lori

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    1. What a beautiful post you wrote, Lori, and what a sweet encouragement to be featured. Thanks so much! I'm so glad that this post has blessed you, and pray that it continues to be a blessing. Praying that we all continue to embrace His sweet rest and walk in refreshing freedom.

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